zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word

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Work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep, work. Hmmm, I think I might be in a rut. It's not the first time, and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last, but I need to find a way to start climbing out of it. I could do something drastic, but I'm not really the drastic type. Although, come to think of it, maybe trying ON drastic would be a sure-fire way to leap, arms akimbo, from the bottom of this gorge. It's not THAT deep...yet.

Drastic things: quit my job, leave my family, move, shave my head

oooh, far too drastic. Not even in the realm of contemplatively drastic. Not even close.

Not-so-drastic things: take charge of my own boredom, stick with the program, reverse comfortable stagnation

They sound not-so-drastic, but are surprisingly hard to do. If something is hard to do and you do it, does that make it drastic? What does it take to get you to do the not-so-drastic, yet hard-to-do things?

Why is it so easy to slide into slackerhood? You might think, what? Slacker? Lizardek? Hardly! Look at that calendar! Look at all those appointments, obligations and dates and the length of those to-do lists. But the truth is, I do much less than I used to. Maybe I've earned it. Maybe it's okay to slow down and take it easy. Maybe it's just part of growing older. Maybe I'm just tired.

And while all of that is partially true, I don't really believe that is all this is about. I think my inner slacker has become my outer one. I think I have to shed it like a snakeskin, peel it off slowly and carefully and rediscover what lies underneath.

Not-drastic-at-all-in-fact-rather-concrete things: rearrange/renovate rooms in the house, really truly purge some stuff, get out the door and walk (damn it), start art

There. That's the beginning of the answer. Now if I could just figure out how to get things to balance at work I think I'd have the tipping point.
Tags: beinglizardek, littlemisssunshine, thedayjob

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