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There's a dove perched on the ridge of the neighbor's garage. He looks cold. It's windy and grey, a high white cloud cover, and the air coming in through the window I opened earlier is chilly. Yesterday was humid, so despite the bleakness, the temperature drop is actually a welcome one for me. Not that I want to wish away summer, but if I could have my sunshine and cool breezes year-round I'd be a happy camper.

It's a quiet, uneventful weekend. Karin was sick last week again so she's not playing in the soccer matches going on. Martin is away until later today on his class trip and since I arrived home from Singapore yesterday, I'm just taking it easy. It was our 17th wedding anniversary yesterday and in typical Ek family fashion, we barely remembered and haven't done much to take note of it. We plan to go out for dinner tonight, after Martin gets home, though. 17 years! How amazing!

I'm doing some long, hard thinking about improvements needed in my life...the biggest one being, of course, my weight. I don't like talking about it, and obviously, I don't like doing something about it, though I have done things about it in the past with varying degrees of temporary success. I've decided to try making some small changes one at a time and see how it goes. Smaller portions, walking, cutting out sodas (!) and learning to say no to snacking, second helpings and the constant parade of sweets. We'll see how it goes. I know the cutting out sodas idea will be the hardest, actually, since I've been addicted to cola since I was young and have terrible caffeine withdrawal headaches if I don't get my daily fix, and maybe I won't be able to manage it completely, but I'm hoping to at least cut DOWN. Wish me luck!

Recently, a new member of the AWC sent out an inquiry asking if there was anyone interested in trying to put together an AWC choir. I responded that I WAS interested but wanted to get more specifics about the idea before I could commit. I miss singing, I miss choir, and I wish I had the time for it again. I know that when I WAS in the choir, up until a couple of years ago, I felt very stressed out by the time commitment of weekly practices and the hour it took to drive to Malmö and back, not to mention the cost of gas. With Karin's sports schedule and other school-related activities, plus the crazybusy at work, I just felt I couldn't keep it up, but I was still sad about quitting.

I heard back from the AWC girl this past week and out of over 200 members, only SIX people had responded in the affirmative. But one of them is a person that I dislike on so many levels that when I saw she was going to participate, my heart dropped. I wrote back again and gave a lame excuse that I was sorry but still felt I didn't really have the time to commit and with only six people, no pianist and no real leader, I didn't see the point, really. I didn't tell her that the real reason I don't want to participate is because of one of the other people involved. I already have to see this particular person too often as it is, because she already comes to the only other activities I participate in, and I can't take any more of her. Life is too short to spend time with someone that sucks the soul right out of you every time you meet. But it doesn't make me feel any less bad about the whole thing. :(

Karin, who has become quite the fashionista lately, thanks to the influence of all her girlfriends, talked me into going shopping yesterday on the pretext that she needed a dress and shoes for her end-of-school ceremony coming up in 2 weeks. All the girls are wearing short short dresses and often, rather inappropriately scanty clothing and I warned her that we'd have to find something I approved of, especially if I was going to be paying for it. She showed me a dress online that she wanted and I suggested we go look first before ordering something that might not arrive in time, since next week has a holiday in it.

We ended up at Emporia, the huge new American-style mall, in Malmö and headed toward Hollister. I wasn't going to even go there because I thought they didn't have dresses, but Karin assured me that they did and the first thing we saw when we walked in the door was a cute (albeit short) white lace dress with cap sleeves. We weren't sure what size she needed, so we grabbed a 1 and a 3 off the rack and went to the fitting rooms. They were far too large, however, but when I went back to get the 0 and 00 (!) sizes, another girl and her dad has just taken them. I asked if they could please put them back if they didn't fit, and after walking around a bit more and then store-stalking them, we managed to get the 00 size dress for Karin to try on and it fit. ZERO ZERO. Holy toothpicks.

And then, because not only is the dress short-short, it's also backless and yes, I hear my grumblings about age-appropriate clothing flying out the window, we had to go find a "bra" for her to wear under the dress...I'VE never even had a backless dress! My daughter is so much more sophisticated than I am, it's ridiculous. And then we had to find shoes to go with it since her standard white canvas sneakers wouldn't cut it. We found the cutest white lace ballerina flats with a tiny bow on top and now her outfit is complete...though to be honest, it's a little more bridesmaid-y than I care for. But still! Karin! In a dress! A WHITE LACE SHORT DRESS WITH BALLERINA FLATS!


Just wait until you see the transformation! Pictures will be forthcoming. :)
mood: relaxed
music: Sally Shapiro—I Dream With an Angel Tonight


Pictures soon!! I love how Karin is so 100% HERSELF and always has been.

I miss choir too. :(

I hope she never loses that!

happy a-day.

From Megsie

Oh. There is just so much here! First of all: Welcome home! I am so happy that you had such a lovely visit to Singapore! You are such a globe-trotter!

Next: Happy Anniversary! I hope you have a lovely celebration with your beloved. The way you two are looking at each other in that photo defines SMITTEN!

Third: I am totally with you about the weight. I lost about 40 (!) pounds several years ago, and I attribute it to many things, but the thing I think made the most difference is I stopped drinking pop. Cold Turkey. Yes. Ouch. I only drank water. It took a little bit of adjustment, like a month. Then, I was great. Until I began to work. I NEEDED the caffeine. I was so tired. I made it through the first semester, but when I started teaching night classes and then had to get up and teach the next morning, I needed my Dr. Pepper. I don't drink coffee or tea. (Yuck.) So, if you can give up the pop? It makes a difference. I was thinking about doing that this summer, but I really don't want to. (I should mention, I gained every one of those pounds back. Sucks.)

I am sorry about the choir thing. It is sad that one person can have such a negative effect on things that you do for fun. I guess I would limit my time with her as well.

Finally, I can't wait to see the pictures of Karin! Wow! She is growing up!


Re: From Megsie

I'm not going to buy more Coke after I run out and I have only 4 small bottles left, plus half a liter of Schweppes Pear-Lime. I'm dreading this, honestly. I don't drink much else and I LOVE SODA. *sigh*

But I know it's a worthwhile change to make and if it helps get some of the weight off, it's MORE than worth it. I'm not sure how I'll deal with caffeine issue though, since I don't drink coffee or tea and won't start. ...eek!!


Cannot wait to see the photos of my fabulous all the way in Niece!!!

Bummer on the choir I do know how much you miss it. :( But think you made the right decision.

I have already said it but Happy Anniversary!

As to the soda thing... AWESOME! Wish i could be closer to give you some added support. But I can say that taking an Excedrin in the morning may help. That has caffeine in it and may be the added boost you need to stick to it. without all the sugar. Just a thought.

Miss you!
Love ya! Seester

Re: WOW!

I wish you were closer, PERIOD. :(

What kind of soda do you normally drink? I decided to try and give up my Diet Coke addiction and it's been ok but I've been able to do it because I'm drinking iced tea, which I know you don't like. Getting the caffeine replacement is crucial for me but the tea has more than the Diet Coke so it's been tricky to get the balance right. I am fine with the caffeine at the time I'm drinking the tea but I'm wired much later than usual (which for me is really late to begin with). Good luck, if I can do it, you can too!

Well, a few years back, I had switched to diet pepsi because I thought maybe that would help get some weight off, but instead, I think it actually made things worse. So I switched back to regular Coke (I can't drink diet Coke...taste weird/gives me headaches) about 6 months ago. I drink at least 2 a day. Plus about half a glass of other fruit soda at some point, though that depends.

I'm a bit concerned about the caffeine withdrawal, to be honest, and might have to figure some other options out if it really causes problems.

glad to hear you are taking steps to get healthy :) dieting really is a waste of time because its temporary. lifestyle changes are hard but worth your happiness and health.

cant wait to see pics of Karin!

Lifestyle changes SUCK. haha! but hopefully what they lead to doesn't :)


I can't wait to see Karin! I'm sure she looks amazing! Love, Lizardmom

You'll be floored!

I wish you luck in the weight department; alas, this is something with which I, too, am struggling. Even with our semi-regular trips to the gym, we're not making much progress in my house.

Totally understand about the icky person. Life is too short to spend it with people who suck the joy out of it. But bummer about choir.

And my mind is having a seizure, trying to picture Karin in her new outfit. ;-)

I just wish I had more stick-to-it-iveness!

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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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