I've always considered myself a bit of an outsider, in many ways, despite belonging to this group or that group or this organization or what not. The reason why wasn't because I wasn't one of the cool kids, though I wasn't...but more has to do with the fact that I had friends in ALL the groups. In junior high maybe not so much...I was pretty geeky, but in high school and ever after, I have always been able to mix and mingle with whomever, finding friends in every clique or group or whatnot. I never really cared what people thought of me, and so it was easy to not care that I wasn't a card-carrying member of any one group.
When Debbie and Camilla were over the other night, when we were talking about a mutual acquaintance, one of them asked me, "Why do you like her? I don't understand what you see in her" and I made some answer equivalent to the paragraph above, that the person in question was okay with me and that while I didn't consider her a great friend, still I get along with pretty much everyone. And she said, to my ever-lasting surprise, "That's not true...I think you're VERY discerning about who you choose to spend time with."
I've been thinking about that a lot in the week since. The truth is, my choices have changed in the past years. I DON'T hang out with people like I might have 5 or so years ago. I'm not as active in the club as I used to be, though I'm still active and much more active than many. Even many of my closer friendships have loosened and grown apart in the past years as we all have gotten busy with jobs and children and houses.
One of the things I like best about online journaling and blogging is the community of people I have grown to trust and care about HERE. Some of you feel closer to me in many ways than people I see in real life. That's a weird statement on the face of it, but we find our kindred spirits in all kinds of unlikely places.
So maybe a month of writing... who knows? A good way to hang out with some of my besties, from whom I've felt a bit absent lately!