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Karin's boyfriend, who was here for dinner last night and behaved in a completely normal manner, broke up with her today.


She's devastated, and I feel as if everything I say sounds unfeeling, condescending and pathetic. Even though it's probably not. I remember (vaguely) what it was like to be 15 and in love, though I didn't have a "real" boyfriend for another few years. Even if he's her third boyfriend and not even the first that has broken up with her, even if she's strong as a rock, even if she's too young, he's too young, they're both too young to be trying this on for size, my baby is still hurting and I'd like to go wring his neck.


What do you say to a child, who is learning how to be a woman, who is learning what it means to learn to like someone, to care for someone, to love someone, about how to handle the hurt of feelings that don't make sense, that aren't fair, that shouldn't have to happen? There isn't anything I can say that will make it better. She's being more stoic than I anticipated, probably because she knows how I feel about drama, and I know she got a lot of her crying out this afternoon after their talk, but still.


It's selfish to hope she won't have another boyfriend until she's (and more importantly, HE'S) ready to actually handle what it means. It's selfish to hope that she'll content herself with girlfriends and focus on her schoolwork instead. It's selfish to think that there is plenty of time for boyfriends LATER, right? Right.

Still. GAH.
mood: sympathetic


Oh no! Poor Karin :(

You are right in that it's really, really hard to know what is the right thing to say to her - maybe nothing is needed but an acknowledgement of her pain, an "I'm so sorry" and then just be there for her. But yes, it's hard to be the parent and watch your baby hurt.

It's a bit brazen of him to turn up for dinner, knowing that he'd be moving on the next day - but then he's young too and may not see it that way. Still...

Like you, I had crushes at her age (mostly unobtainable pop stars - still waiting for Robert Plant to answer my letter of proposal from 1972), but no actual boyfriend until I was much older. They grow up so fast these days! Although in my case, it may have been more that I went to an all girls school, plus I had six brothers, so I had no desire to meet any boy romantically having seen that lot in action.

Six borthers! That explains a lot...poor you! haha!

Karin is bearing up just fine, today. She said they talked more today at school and are still friends, though she thinks he needs to get his head on straight and realize what he's going to miss out on otherwise! :D

Hee, hee ... yep, six brothers and three sisters. We Catholics breed like rabbits :-)

Wow, they are still on speaking terms. That says a lot about their maturity and balanced outlook. I'm impressed.

TEN children? Your poor mum!

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