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Karin's boyfriend, who was here for dinner last night and behaved in a completely normal manner, broke up with her today.


She's devastated, and I feel as if everything I say sounds unfeeling, condescending and pathetic. Even though it's probably not. I remember (vaguely) what it was like to be 15 and in love, though I didn't have a "real" boyfriend for another few years. Even if he's her third boyfriend and not even the first that has broken up with her, even if she's strong as a rock, even if she's too young, he's too young, they're both too young to be trying this on for size, my baby is still hurting and I'd like to go wring his neck.


What do you say to a child, who is learning how to be a woman, who is learning what it means to learn to like someone, to care for someone, to love someone, about how to handle the hurt of feelings that don't make sense, that aren't fair, that shouldn't have to happen? There isn't anything I can say that will make it better. She's being more stoic than I anticipated, probably because she knows how I feel about drama, and I know she got a lot of her crying out this afternoon after their talk, but still.


It's selfish to hope she won't have another boyfriend until she's (and more importantly, HE'S) ready to actually handle what it means. It's selfish to hope that she'll content herself with girlfriends and focus on her schoolwork instead. It's selfish to think that there is plenty of time for boyfriends LATER, right? Right.

Still. GAH.
mood: sympathetic


It is so painful to watch our daughters feel the loss of love. But at the same time, so wonderful to know that they are capable of being in love, independent of us, and that all of this is the natural order of things.

When my kids go through heartbreak, I hug them and tell them it is ok to cry, to feel sad, to feel hurt. It's normal even if it feels horrible. I tell them to let it out, not to hold back, and that they just have to keep doing so until the ship rights itself again.

Good advice and basically what I'm trying to do. :)

July 2019
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I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

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