lizardek's obiter dictum lizardek Home Now Then Friends Info Ek Family
zird is the word [userpic]
FEELING LIKE WRITING
I don't even know what to write about anymore. There are things I can't write about that are filling up my brain. There are things I could write about, but I don't even know what they are. Ideas run through my mind and bubble into nothing by the time I sit down. Funny conversations disappear into the air, expelled on the breath of memory and forgetfulness. Even when I have ideas, they seem stupid. They seem trite and banal and, above all, boring. And then I forget what I was going to say again.

I've been keeping this blog since 2003. That's a long time. I dislike the fact that I don't write more often, even when I know it's a habit that takes discipline. I am easily distracted. My time is easily eaten up by so many other things. I feel guilty about not writing and that's the last emotion I want to bring to this space. A friend of mine exclaimed tonight, when the subject of my blog came up, that it was "so good!" and I had to laugh, because I rarely feel that way about my blog. I don't think it's "so good" most of the time. I'm not sure what's changed, though. I mean...I'm the same person I was in 2003, right?

Really, though, it's the longest I've ever written a journal. Most of my pathetic attempts lasted weeks, sometimes only days. The amount of blank pages in the paper journals of my youth is fairly embarrassing, but here? I've been writing for nearly 12 years! Next year my little livejournal will be a teenager!

Anne Tyler said, "If I waited until I felt like writing, I'd never write at all." I get that. An unknown writer said, "The worst thing you write is better than the best thing you did not write." I get that, too. Erasmus said, "The desire to write grows with writing."

I don't have writer's block. It's not that, at all. It's a matter of prioritizing, really.

So, here I am...writing. Turns out, it's not so difficult once you get going. The trick is to do it again. And again. And keep on doing it. Whether you feel like it or not. Whether it's good or trite or banal or boring. Whether anyone will read it or care that you've written it or acknowledge its existence. Just write is just right.
 contemplative
mood: contemplative
music: Elina Born & Stig Rästa—Goodbye to Yesterday


Comments
(Anonymous)

Yes - it is just right! And, that's why I love reading your writing - and apparently there's lots of others who feel like I do it. As Nike states...."Just Do It!" Love, Lizardmom

You're my mom, you're supposed to love everything about me! :D haha! I actually wish YOU would journal, too, mom :)

Write the things you *can't* write about, if only for yourself (or on a very tight filter on LJ, depending on your needs). Talking aloud or writing things out gives people clarity in those very matters. Keeping them only in our heads can be for the crazy-making, in my opinion.

This sounds to me like the perfect time for you to practice "morning pages." The bubble stuff will eventually be caught and fleshed out, and the more private matters might be worked out in a real way for you.

One of my favorite writing quotes is:
'It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by.
How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment?
For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone.' ~Vita Sackville-West

That's what I was thinking too. Write those things out, no need to share them, but then they aren't blocking the doorway for those other things to find their way onto the (virtual) page.

I like that metaphor :)

Great quote. I found some wonderful quotes when I was looking yesterday, writing this.

I guess I should write about the things I can't write about, but it's hard, as I've always considered this a space to keep (mostly) negativity at bay.

Then start another private journal just to get those things out - no need to share it with anyone except me of course.

Sometimes I write thhings I don't want to share as an email to myself, that I can then read and delete. Getting them written, frees up some of the space in my mind for other things.

Use the "private" filter, Liz. And then maybe more share-able stuff will bubble up to your typing fingertips to share with us, later...

It's weird. I find myself strangely reluctant to write about serious stuff that is bothering me. I think maybe it makes it too real.

A separate journal is the answer. Even a handwritten one, instead. But perhaps those morning pages will be the best help, getting rid of the cruddy bits that clog the spout and freeing you to write more fluidly in this journal.

I loved this post and I love reading your writing. I always take something away from your words that I reflected upon as I go about my day.

You flatter me, truly!!

I hear you loud and clear, especially when you say "Ideas run through my mind and bubble into nothing by the time I sit down." I write loads of wonderful things in my head that just evaporate when I sit down at the laptop. It can be really hard to fit in journaling when there is so much else to do - if only I could plug in my mind to LJ as I think of what to write. I'm just too lazy and undisciplined to do the physical typing and organising of these snatches of ideas into a coherent entry.

I've loved reading your journal right from the start. I hope to still be reading it in 13 years time.

I write so very many things in my head while walking. I have often wished for a thought activated word processor.

I'm surprised that no-one has invented one yet. I'd buy it! Although thinking about some of the zany things that go through my head, I'd need a "nutcase" filter :-)

Nutcase filter

I need that too!

I hope to still be writing it in 13 years! And ditto to you.

A mind to LJ machine would be awesome. That and a matter transmitter.

Damn, you had me scared woman, at the first couple lines of the second paragraph. I thought it was our dear John letter.

I empathize so very much. I want to want to write, but instead, for a very long time now, it is a painful push. Oh well.

How about some writing prompts my dear? Do you know Lynda Barry?

I don't think I'd write a Dear John letter. I think the only way I would actually stop for good was if something happened to me. I might take hiatuses but this space means too much to me to just give it up. I've never understood how people can take a year off from blogging or just quit. Crazy!

I've been doing better lately, about posting more often. Still not a daily thing, and never will be, but if I can manage a couple of times a week, I'm satisfied with myself. (Of course, a lot of the posting has been because there's been a plethora of unpleasant events recently, that I just needed to get out of my head, but still...) :-)

I love hearing about life in Sweden, with a Swedish family, from an ex-pat's perspective. Even if it's something as seemingly banal as how they handle trash collection...

I'm pretty satisfied with myself if I manage to post a couple of times a week, but lately I don't feel I'm even coming close to that. Once a week if I'm lucky.

So, you want to hear about how Sweden handles trash collection...hmmmm

(Anonymous)
From Megsie

I love every post, Liz! I am ashamed to be one of those bloggers who abandons the blog for long periods of time... There is guilt, that is for sure. You always give me something to think about or to appreciate. I am so happy to hear that there will be no Dear John letter here!

Re: From Megsie

NO GUILT! Real life really does take precedence :) And believe me, I know how hard it is to get started again when it's been awhile.

May 2018
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31

lizardek

lizardek's obiter photos
lizardek's obiter photos

shameless
Feeling generous? Be my guest!





snippet
I can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

more
obiter snippets





credits
Layout thanks to dandelion.
Findus the cat as used in my user icon and header is the creation of Sven Nordqvist.