lizardek's obiter dictum lizardek Home Now Then Friends Info Ek Family
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TELL ME WHY
It's partly because I work on the computer all day long at work 5 days a week and my shoulders hurt by the end of each day and the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit at a computer again, even just to post.

It's partly because I'm often convinced that I have nothing interesting to say or write about, and some things that ARE interesting aren't things I CAN write about.

It's partly because I get busy with other things, like meal preparation and consumption, like house cleaning and chores and things that must be done, or reading, or playing stupid iPad games.

It's partly because I forget about it until it's too late and then I have to go to bed because I can no longer stay up past 9:30 11 pm on a weekday.

It's partly because I'm inherently lazy though I disguise it very, very well.

The tax papers are strewn across the desk in front of me but I'm ignoring them. The TV is on, but I'm ignoring it, too. I'm ignoring the siren call of the Reese's in the refrigerator as well,...for now. I seem to be ignoring a lot of things, some of them more important than others and procrastinating on yet more...I'm not sure what my deal is. I'm usually full of spring and zing this time of year but right now, I just seem to be sort of limping along.

Everything is turning green. We have baby lilacs on almost every branch of our six lilac bushes, huzzah! The hostas are thrusting like spears into the sunlight. The stonecrop in the big pots are fat and succulent. The roses and the honeysuckle, which Anders ruthlessly cut back, are sprouting leaves and and the plum tree is a giant white cloud of flowers. The cherry tree has yet to bloom, but it won't be long now. It's been quite cold, even below freezing at night, but this whole week has been a solid parade of bright blue skies and sunshine.

We had sad news a few days ago, hearing that an old friend of Anders', who is only a few years older, had unexpectedly passed away. His family suspects it was a stroke or a heart attack but we haven't heard any details. The funeral will be private, for family only. We didn't see him very often; as he lived over an hour away, and we weren't exactly social with him on any regular basis, but because he was a pewter-smith, over the years we have been out to his studio many times and bought pieces of his work. Karin and Anders were there at least twice last summer, once with my mom, to buy some of the pewter and brass rings he'd been making the past few years. We have napkin rings, candlesticks and jewelry to remember him by.

It's always a shock when someone dies, but even more so when it's someone who wasn't ill, who was relatively "young" and who went suddenly. All the "we should get together sometime soons" are no longer a possibility. It makes you want to call and write and visit everyone you care about.

Another thing I'm sad about: Notre Dame, though I'm relieved that they were able to put the fire out and it seems like a great deal has been saved or is salvageable.

Something I'm happy about: hearing today that we are quite close to hiring a new graphic designer for my team. The recruitment has been ongoing for several weeks and I have high hopes for some relief at work soon.

Something I'm keeping my fingers crossed for: That Anders' mom's apartment SELLS already. Meet the asking price, people!

I've taken a long break from American late-night comedy shows and regular news programming, which I was admittedly addicted to over the last two years. I just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I'm skimming the news, and limiting my intake, especially of politics. I'm just so thoroughly disgusted with so much of it right now, and I was getting rage headaches far too often. A break was definitely needed, and I think it was a good thing. I'm only sorry that my friends and family back in the States can't take a break from it. It must feel relentless sometimes.

This post feels all over the place, but so is my brain, so you'll just have to deal with it... all two of you. One of you? Hello?

Tomorrow, I'm getting Barky done and not past time. I've got nearly an INCH of grey showing...augh. Awfulness. I am not sure if I want to go as red as I did last time, though. While I got lots of compliments on it, I'm a little worried that it had tipped over into "klimakeriet-röd" territory. Hard to tell. But if I don't have a reddish-chestnut hue, I feel like it's not quite right...too dark doesn't look right with my skin tone.

We've got a ton of short weeks coming up, as per usual in Sweden in the spring. Thursday is a half day because my company generously gives half-day holidays the day before legal holidays. Then we have Good Friday AND Easter Monday, and the week after that we have a half-day on Tuesday because Wednesday is International Labor Day (for everyone except the US) or as the Swedes call it, May First. :D

Then we have to work for two straight weeks but then come two more short weeks in a row with Ascension Day and Sweden's National Day which both fall on Thursdays, giving us a half-day before each. And only another couple of weeks after that, it's Midsummer! I both look forward to, and dread, all the short weeks so close together. It's great to have the days off but man, it gets stressful at work. And I'll be having early vacation this year as well, mostly in June, so plenty of time off to really enjoy the spring and get some motivation back.
 calm
mood: calm
music: Rickie Lee Jones—Juke Box Fury


Comments

I wonder if it's the late Easter that makes you feel like this. You've been hard at work without a break since Christmas - that in itself is pretty stressful. And now comes the Swedish spring of rapid fire holidays that are welcome on the one hand, but stressful at work on the other. It's like you can't win.

When I feel stressed, I know that I just slip into "survival mode" and do the necessary things around home etc, but just waste the rest of the time on stupid things that I regret, but keep repeating. It becomes a vicious circle that you feel powerless to stop.

I hope the breaks and the continued sunshine and warmth go some way to helping you pull out of the funk. And just so you know, you always have interesting things to write, even if you don't think you do.

How sad about Anders' friend - it hits home when it is someone close to you.

Good old Barky! Didn't Martin dye his hair grey? You could do that! Though maybe it loses the ironic note at our age. I don't colour my hair, so it's blonde threaded with a lot of grey these days.

(Anonymous)

Your belief that you have nothing interesting to write about....the point is actually that you are able to make those "nothing interesting things" become interesting to read about from our point of view....(I'm including all your readers because I trully believe that they agree with me)!!
ANd this time of year you make the gardens,trees, weather,etc come so alive by your words and your photos -I so look forward to seeing them every year.
Enjoy the holidays -you need the break and dust yourself off -we're waiting for your next post! Much Love and Hugs Lizardmom

(Anonymous)
From Megsie

I totally agree with Lizard Mom up there! This was a AWESOME post. :)

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