zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word
lizardek

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ON AND OFF AGAIN

I didn't set out on purpose to take a month-long break from writing here, but halfway though the month, even though I was constantly thinking about writing something, I sort of gave up and went with the flow. I suppose I still felt like I had nothing much to write about, even though that is precisely what writing here is FOR: random thoughts. But this past year, as for everyone, has really taken its toll, and that's despite everything in my life being FINE. I am fine. We're fine. Everything here is fine. But I still feel tired, fatigued, exhausted. I click on CNN to read the headlines with dread. I try to divorce myself from the insanity in my home country, and yet. I can't. I'm still connected. There are people I love living there. And it's a sorrow, a grieving for what my country has become, too, from the eyes of someone who doesn't live in the midst of it, and who, by virtue of living abroad, has only a skewed perspective on what daily life is really like there.

It's the first of November. 3 days until the US election. 53 days until Christmas. Two months until the end of 2020. Neither of which will actually solve anything, because I am firmly convinced that slowing and turning things, changing things, upending things, takes nearly as much time, if not longer, to restore, return, revise. It's the same with weight gain and loss. It's EASY to slide and eat everything you want and put on the pounds. It's MUCH more difficult to stop yourself, change your lifestyle, and hard work to take them back off again. As with fat, so with democracy! Haha!

I find myself unenthusiastic about everything. During the summer, when things were looking fairly stable in our region, the AWC started trying to plan some in-person activities, as we hadn't had anything since March. It's pretty hard to keep a social club going when you can't be social. Cases were solidly down in Skåne and restrictions were slowly being lifted. We planned a social distancing Halloween trick-or-treat picnic and had a great turnout, with people very happy to participate and abide by the rules to keep everyone safe. We had a couple of blended book group meetings with some people attending in person and some staying on Zoom. One woman decided to host a Halloween social for adults in her (very large) home with a minimum number of guests and social distancing measures in place and we booked and started planning the Thanksgiving potluck, also with the max of 50 that the government allows and strict plans for social distancing, etc. But numbers of coronavirus cases suddenly started rising in September and a week ago, stricter measures were put into place...we cancelled it all or moved it back online.

We are watching and waiting to see if we have to cancel the planned in-person November meeting at the end of the month, which includes our annual cookie exchange, our annual wreathmaking workshop activity and our family Thanksgiving dinner...all of which fall after the 3 weeks mandated by the government restrictions. I suspect they will all get cancelled as well, and the meeting moved online instead.

We didn't have any trick-or-treaters this year either...it was all over the news the night before that "bus eller godis" was a bad idea. One Canadian friend that lives in the village drove over with her two little girls and I put the big bowl of candy outside for them to scoop a huge handful each out of. The only other visitor during the evening was the neighbor's cat. :)

I'm working from home for the next 3 weeks as well. We have the option to continue the rotation schedule and go into the office if needed, but I don't really need to (except the rare occasion when I need to print something). All my meetings are via Teams anyway and I'd rather just have the extra half hour of sleep in the morning.

I hope you are all fine. I miss everything. Going outside now to set up the winter bird feeders and clean up the tomato pots.
Tags: beinglizardek, littlemisssunshine
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