zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word

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I'm really angry and upset about something I can't talk about here. And not just because I try to keep the awful stuff out of this space. There are other people involved and once again, 2020 just keeps on giving...this feeling that the awfulness of last year is spilling over and into and causing this year to brim over with awfulness, too. GAH.

I've taken tomorrow off, not because of the awful thing that is consuming all my mental space, but because I have to use up 20 of my vacation days before April 1st, although if I don't, I don't know what they can do to me. I don't mind taking the day off, but work is insane and I'm in the middle of several monster projects, with one particular monster project consuming all my time and energy. It's probably good that I get a break from it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll sneak-work this weekend to make up for it.

That's one bad thing about working from home...there is nothing to stop me from working extra, working late, working too much. Nothing internal, I mean. It's just me and my drive to get things done that stands in my own way. It's not like I'm going anywhere or doing anything, so my mind says, "why not work?" It passes the time. It helps others out. It gets things done! But it's never actually done. There is always, ALWAYS, more work. It would be different, I suppose, if I didn't LIKE my work.

When I was asked to do the particular monster project at the end of last year, I was really hesitant. I'd done it two years in a row; this is the third year. It's the layout job for my company's annual review and sustainability report, which comprises between 70 and 80 pages. Every year it seems it has to be bigger and better, and I was so happy with the way it turned out last year that I was honestly afraid that I wouldn't be able to top it. That I was out of ideas.

Apart from the layout and design work, it's grueling because absolutely EVERYTHING has to be correct and perfect down to the tiniest detail. Thankfully, I'm not responsible for that part. We have an excellent consultant who writes and proofreads and gives over her entire life, as far as I can tell, to making sure that it's literally perfect in every way. Thankfully, also, we are no longer required to provide all the incredibly specific financial details that used to be included...pages of graphs and charts and data that ALSO had to be perfect in every detail. There are only a handful of pages of financial information now and that's all the numbers and graphs my math-averse brain can handle.

It was nice to be asked, though. Nice to know they were pleased with the reports I'd created previously and nice to know that the two people with the most involvement and responsibility really wanted me back and were so happy with our collaboration. I don't know, though, if I will say yes to another year...I think it's time for another teammate to take a turn.

But today I did the next to last layout work on the next to last content and it was fun. I love doing layout work. I love taking someone's content and figuring out the best way to present it, making it look great and engaging and nice to look at as well as interesting to read. I love hunting for images that work in the layout and are visually exciting in the context of it. I've already had an email back from the last proof I sent...it came an hour after I had logged out and shut down for the day, and I can't stop thinking about it, and my brain is actually itching to take care of it. Let's see if I can hold out until Monday! Shall we take bets?
Tags: littlemisssunshine, thedayjob


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