zird is the word (lizardek) wrote,
zird is the word

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I've been thinking a lot about time passing lately. My father died when he was 56 and because I have a lot of the same issues he did, healthwise, though with one major difference, this year...the year I am 56, has been a little fraught for me, mentally. Like many adults, I often boggle about how fast time goes. I read once that it has to do with the fact that as an adult, you've already done many things at least once, and therefore, they seem to go faster the second (or third or eleventyth) time around, because you know how it goes. You know what to expect, what to anticipate and there's no open-ended sense of wonder about them.

Maybe that's true, maybe not. Maybe it's because we (and by we, I mean me. I can't speak for you.) tend to live our lives a little bit in the future due to our tendency to look ahead. I'm preparing for Christmas, for example, well before it actually occurs. In fact, I ordered my first Christmas present for someone a couple of weeks ago (a personal record, I think). So, if I already have next Christmas on the brain less than 2 months after the last Christmas, does that help it to zoom towards me? Some people think like this: there are STILL 9 and a half months before Christmas. Whereas, I think like this: there are ONLY 9 and a half months left until Christmas.

I suppose for some people, anticipation makes things drag out. If they are one of the STILL-thinking people, time drags while you wait to get to the anticipated event. If you, like me, are one of the ONLY-thinking people, it seems like time speeds up instead and that anticipated event is already looming. And I suppose also, that for many of us, we forget about the FACT of time passing and just go about our business, until suddenly we look up and our children are in their twenties and we've been at our jobs for a ridiculously long amount of time, or we've lived in this place for a ridiculously long amount of time, or whatever. When we stop and think about time passing, that's when it boggles us and feels like it's zipped right by. Because we weren't necessarily paying attention. Time has a way of doing that: sneaking past us in order to turn around and shout SURPRISE! just to see the look on our face.

Anders and I were talking about retirement (theoretically) a week or so ago and I was shocked to realize how fast it's coming. Even if I'm only 56 now, turning 57 this year, that's not many more years before I reach the typical retirement age of 65. Not even 10 years away. And even if I retire a little later than that, say 67, that's not much longer. 10 years ago, my daughter was 11...that feels like a lifetime and yet it's gone so fast. 10 years before that, she was a baby. EEEK. Slow down, time, seriously, what's the rush?!

I suspect procrastinators are STILL-thinking people. That's one reason why they can procrastinate...they feel they have plenty of time* what's the hurry? While I'm just the opposite, most of the time. There's never plenty of time, or if there is, I fill it up with preparation or other activities, until suddenly it's TIME. Maybe those who are extra anal-retentive single-minded about time management are, most likely, ONLY-thinking people.

My original plan, while I was mulling over and composing this post in my head, was to jot down some of the "it's been this many years since" types of milestones over the years, but now I don't feel like it and I think this post went in a different direction anyway. And just so we are clear, as of today, there are ONLY 284 days left until Christmas.

*I know this is a simplification. There are lots of reasons for procrastinating.

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Tags: beinglizardek, calendargirl


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